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When is the right time to get a Divorce?

A young couple sits in the bedroom and wonders if it is time to get a divorce

This is a question that a person in a troublesome relationship may ask. Maybe things aren’t working out and neither partner still feels a connection … or maybe things are even more serious and there is a pattern of verbal or physical abuse. In either case, it can be difficult to make a decision that could lead to financial uncertainty, emotional pain and uncertainty for children.

There isn’t a simple answer about when is the right time to call it quits on a relationship. While you shouldn’t necessarily bail on a relationship because of some rough patches – but there are some sure signs that it is time to call your lawyer and start preparing for divorce.

Here are some things you should consider when asking yourself whether or not it is time for divorce:

Are there any patterns of violence?

If you are in a situation where there is repeated violence, it is best to seek legal help immediately. A partner or child should not have to regularly experience violence at home, or fear for their own well-being.

In some cases, it is important to involve the police as well as a lawyer. Cases of violence at home can also have long-lasting effects and it is therefore a good idea to seek therapy as a way of dealing with the effects of violence.

Is there verbal abuse and conflict?

Disagreements in a marriage can be expected, but if loud insults and arguments over fairly insignificant issues have become a regular part of everyday life, that’s a sign that something is seriously wrong.

Furthermore, any children involved will suffer considerably in an environment where they regularly witness their parents yelling at one another, and they may suffer lasting emotional anguish or trauma.

Has one partner committed infidelity?

If one partner has been caught in an extramarital affair, that may be the trigger to end a marriage. If this has become a pattern and is not something that you are prepared to live with, then it is definitely time to consider divorce.

Are the children at a vulnerable age?

It is important to consider the impact that a decision will make on children, though this depends on the cause and severity of the conflict that has led to thoughts about divorce. If there are any intense disputes or any of the situations mentioned above, it will likely be better for the child’s mental health if you leave the marriage.

However, if the spark is gone but you agree to work together with your spouse, it is important to give the child a chance to thrive through formative years. An adolescent child going through many different areas of development may struggle tremendously with his or her parents divorcing. Again, this is a situation to think about counselling and family therapy as a means of bridging the gap between the family prior to divorce and the new structure of the divorced family.

No easy answer

Ultimately, there isn’t an easy answer for when is the right time to end a relationship. If you feel like you have exhausted all other options and that the marriage simply cannot be redeemed, you should consult with a lawyer to consider your options.