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Important Communication Tips for when you are going through a Divorce

A couple struggling to communicate in the right way during a divorce

The end of a relationship or marriage can be the start of some understandably stormy times.

Depending on the cause of the split and the level of amicability that remains between both parties, talking with one another to hammer out details of spousal support, child custody, property division and more can be a tricky business.

While emotions run high, it’s important to remember some key points regarding proper communication while going through a divorce – which can save you a lot of self-inflicted grief later on!  

Don’t lose your cool

Though there may be a temptation to unleash some of your best aggressive language on your ex, it’s important to remain neutral, civil and respectful.

First off, sharp words will have a way of driving the wedge further between you and your ex. More arguments and more division typically result in longer hours spent trying to come to any sort of agreement, which can quickly become costly. Also, using spiteful language may not reflect well on you in front of a judge, if your case goes to court, and could even influence the final ruling on a variety of subjects.

Dealing with Abusive Communication

It could be the case that you are on the receiving end of an outburst from your partner. In these cases, it’s still always better to remain calm rather than engage in all-out warfare. If the abusive communication persists, you can talk to your lawyer or mediator about how to resolve the conflict.  We always advise our clients to only maintain communication with their ex where that communication is productive and civil.  If it isn’t then nothing positive will come out of it.

Polite and civil – in both spoken and written conversation

Your goal throughout the divorce proceedings should be to present yourself in a civil and respectful way.  Try to use “I statements” rather than starting sentences with “You” as this is a surprisingly effective tactic for reducing accusations and aggressive communication.  This includes responding to emails in a timely manner and proofreading each one to edit out wording that may reflect poorly on you. Emails and even social media posts that were made in a moment of frustration can come back and be used against you in court.

If you are ever in doubt about the best route of action to take or the best way to present your situation, consult with a law firm like Epstein & Associates for valuable and professional legal advice.