Thinking of getting a divorce but are scared of the implications that follow? If you are thinking about divorce it is most likely because the negatives about your marriage outweigh the positives. There are moments where you might go back and forth on whether divorce is the right option for you based on everyday circumstances.
So how do you know if you are ready to fully commit to getting divorced?
We have outlined five realities that you will need to understand and accept which will not only help you through your divorce, but also come out on the other side with a positive attitude, ready to move forward.
Your Happiness Won’t Disappear Just Because They Do
As any relationship is trending towards its end, there may be a worry of “how will I be happy now that the other person is gone?”, which is a completely normal emotion and thought to have. Being married is a huge commitment and when it ends, there can be moments of uncertainty.
Know that the most important thing to remember is that a marriage does not define who you are. It might sound like a cliché but whether you were married for 1 year or 30 years, getting a divorce, being on your own and now living life as a single person should not dictate how much happiness you can possess. In most cases, you are divorcing your spouse because they have caused you some sort of grief that you cannot come to terms with anymore, or the relationship is simple irreparable. With that weight being gone, you can spend your time and energy on things that bring you joy.
You Don’t Need to Hate Your Ex
A common thread that comes out of divorce hearings is, once divorced, you need to hate your ex-spouse. While some situations of adultery or violence give you every right to not appreciate, or be considerate of a former spouse, there are many scenarios that do not require you to be hateful.
Sometimes two people can be married and get a divorce simply because they want different things or have new life goals. Your life will change after a marriage ends and there will be enough to worry about, so it is best to try and stay positive and move forward without any hatred.
You Cannot Expect to “Win” Everything in Your Divorce Case
The mentality of “beating” your spouse in court is the hope for many people going through a divorce. Because there are so many different issues discussed in divorce proceedings, such as child custody, division of property, RRSP savings and spousal support, “winning” a case and having a true winner happens seldom.
Instead of trying to “win” your divorce case, be sure to speak with your lawyer about what your primary and secondary goals are. This will help you and your lawyer ensure that you are on the same page when it comes to knowing your current assets and what you are really invested in keeping. Keeping your expectations realistic will help you a long way in recovering both financially and mentally following your divorce.
Your Life Will Change and That’s Okay
After a divorce, your finances will look different, friends might disappear and children, if you have them, might feel distant. This is all a part of the new life that you are starting yourself instead of with someone else. There is a possibility that it will feel very overwhelming at the beginning moments, so be sure to have a support team of other friends, family and professionals by your side so you have someone to talk to.
Accepting these changes before you initiate the divorce process will ease the transition when the documentation is finalized. Divorce doesn’t happen overnight, so it’s important to stay strong and remember the goals you have set for yourself. If you do feel yourself thinking twice about getting divorced it is most likely because you do not take the decision lightly, as any decision that is difficult requires a lot of perseverance to go through.
Your Support System Can Help With Big Decisions
Just because you are going through life without a partner or spouse anymore, does not mean that you are going through it alone.
When making important choices, it’s essential that you always consider the potential consequences, especially now that you are undergoing them without a spouse or partner. This is especially true if children are involved, as you want to make the decision of what’s best for your child, even if it involves your ex-spouse. Your support system can be a very informative way for bouncing your ideas and gaining a new understanding of current situations you might be in.
Here at Epstein & Associates, we know how difficult the divorce process can be and we want to make sure that you feel heard and supported throughout. We have also outlined another five key factors that will help prepare you for the actual process of the divorce process if you would like to learn more.
Please feel free to contact us today for a free 30-minute consultation and speak with one of our lawyers to see how we can assist you today.